Most people who know my testimony, know that my dad killed himself when I was 2 years old! But what you may not know, is that I’m a 2 time suicide survivor! Not only did I survive my dad’s suicide, I survived my own!
No, I never actually tried to kill myself, but throughout my whole time in high school I fantasized about killing myself. High School for me and now I’m realizing for most people, is a series of unfortunate events that just confirm all the lies we believe such as: I’m unlovable, worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, I’ll never get married, who would want me and on and on. Every friend that dumps you for other friends, every person you fall in love with, only to be left broken-hearted, every class you fail, the gossip you endure, just seems to confirm the lies over and over. So why wouldn’t we believe them and assume this is our lot in life?
The interesting thing is, I had forgotten about this fantasy, that is until last week when we got Netflix and started watching 13 Reasons Why! It’s a super interesting, almost addicting show of a girl named Hannah, portraying my life in High School, the only difference is, she actually went through with it, hoping to torment those who tormented her. I wondered, why did she and so many others go through with it and I didn’t? I think it was because, having a dad who committed suicide, I saw first hand how everyone moves on with their lives. Yes, my mom and I felt the loss but, he lost more than anyone! My dad missed my graduation, my wedding, my children, my love! I use to hurt for me, but now I hurt for him! He missed out big time! But the thing that really stopped me, was the little bit of belief I held in my heart, that I’m special and I want to experience life!
I don’t really know what kind of pleasure we get out of playing such a horrible movie over and over in our minds? Maybe we believe we’ll finally get the love we longed for, even if it’s at our funeral? Maybe, when we play that movie in our minds, our body produces Dopamine (Feel good chemical) and we become addicted to it? Maybe it’s both and many more reasons. All I know is, that this needs to be talked about! It’s a secret cancer plaguing our campus’ and everyone thinks their the only one with this movie.
It’s time teens rise up, start talking about what’s really going on inside of them and crush satan. It’s time our teens start understanding and believing their Identity, Purpose and Mission!
The truth is:
1. That you’re amazing! (Throw out the lie movie, replace it with the truth movie of how loved you are!)
2. You have an incredible future ahead of you! (Satan knows that, and he’s trying to destroy you!)
3. High School is 4 years of your 90 year life! Don’t let it define who you are!
4. You have college ahead of you!
5. You have an amazing career ahead of you!
6. You have the love of your life to meet!
7. Your wedding day is not far away!
8. You have children to love and raise!
9. You have new friends to make!
10. You have a world to see and explore!
11. You have people to impact with your gifts and talents.
12. You have others to rescue from this fantasy!
13. You have eternity in heaven if you’ve given your life to Jesus and know him! One where you’ll be rewarded because you did what’s hard and that was to refuse to believe the lies and embraced the truth.
I’m living proof of an amazing future awaiting you!
Rhonda Ferguson
Identity Theft Restorer-Teaching People Who They Are and Their Purpose In This Life In Order To Free and Empower Them!
If you need someone to share your movie with please call me 951 970-3510