While on the phone to my husband, as he was traveling home from work, I was “multi-tasking,” working hard to finish my “to do list!” During the conversation he asked me if I was in a bad mood? I asked him, “Does it seem like it?” He said, “you don’t seem like yourself!”
So I paused for a moment and did a heart check, I said “I know what it is, I’m tired, I’m not in the mood to be doing what I’m doing!” He asked,”does this need to be done tonight, can you do it tomorrow or the next day?” I said, “yes!” He said, “then stop!”
I realized in that moment, I’m enough for him. He could really care less about my “to do list,” I can simply be loving, compassionate, caring, understanding, encouraging and that is more than enough. I was trying to get that “to do list” done, to empress him and feel good about myself.
Being a wellness coach and helping people in their journey of healing their spirit-soul-body, I’ve come to discover that stress is the number one threat to our over all health. Counseling people for over a decade, I’ve come to realize the root cause of most stress is believing we are not enough! So we set out to prove to ourselves and others that we are.
The problem occurs when we come into agreement with the lie that says, “if we can just accomplish this or that we’ll be good enough.” If we never recognize the lie, if we never reject the lie or are healed from the lie, we will always feel like we are not enough, even when we’ve accomplished everything on our “to do list” and/or our goals.
People don’t care what we accomplish, they care about how we make them feel. Simply being you (love, hope, encouragement) is enough. It’s not what we do, it’s who we are! If we make this our goal, it will be easier to be present when we are with people and to let go of worry about all we have to get done.
A “to do list” should not be about getting it done, but rather how loving we were, while we interacted with people throughout the day? Review your “to do list” at the end of the day and think about all the people you talked to; friends, family, the checker at the store, the bank teller, co-workers, class mates etc. Did you leave them feeling seen, loved, inspired, encouraged and/or hopeful? If we did, we were enough, if not we have tomorrow to try again and even in our failures we grow and learn, so not one day is wasted, it was part of our journey to being love!
To heal from being a “Type A”/”Overachiever,” ask yourself what you stress or strive about, believing that if you achieve or accomplish that thing you’ll be or feel good enough! Reject that lie, and adopt a healthy mindset of simply being love to the person in front of you and believing that just being you is good enough.
Rhonda Ferguson
Identity Theft Restorer: Teaching People Who They Are To Free and Empower Them
RFWellness.net