Life is a journey of awakening to; who we really are, to be brave enough to live unapologetically who we are, and to no longer compromise or settle, for anything that doesn’t align with who we are.
We are tormented, because other people have tried in error to teach us who we are and their explanations, along with their own limiting beliefs, caused us to believe if we don’t measure up to their standards we aren’t good enough. Therefore we went on a journey of hiding our true identity, went into people pleasing and using coping mechanisms in order to ease the pain of our true identity being denied by humanity.
The torment of trying to be who people want us to be, rather than being our true self, will lead us into the darkness of our minds, where; stress, anxiety, doubts, worries, fears and depression grow. As we look at these fruits of suffering, and be willing to intentionally pull back those egotistical veils, our true self naturally begins to emerge.
As Thich Nhat Hanh says, “suffering is the mud in which we grow, like the lotus flower!” What provokes us to be willing to make changes and to grow in the darkness and to emerge into the light, is when we come to the end of our False Egotistical Human Self, no longer willing to live in pain, in order to make other people happy.
The very first steps in the awakening process is to live in awareness of our feelings and the things that are bothering us, so we can do daily “Heart Surgery!” (Processing the situation, how it’s affecting us, how we are coping, tapping into our inner guidance and receiving the truth, so we know how to bravely move forward in walking in the truth of who we really are.)
Relationships and marriage in particular, are the keys in this process, because they often trigger in us the very things that needed to be revealed and healed so we can be transformed. That spouse, sibling, child and co-worker are our awakening gifts. However, the tragedy in all of this is that when our ego detects the least bit of resistance from someone, because of fear of rejection, it goes into flight or fight mode and if we follow that guidance, we loose out on the gift of awakening that the relationship was offering to us.
When we can detect the difference between abuse where boundaries need to be set and push back against our ego that needs dismantling, we are empowered to stay strong, do the work and advance towards freedom.
Let’s make it our goal in life to remove the blockages to who we are, let every area of our lives reflect who we are, and know as Ram Dass says, “We are all just walking each other home” which is our true self, one with Christ and everyone. Let’s make a conscious effort to remember; when someone is being egotistical and that is not who they are, to see past their body suit and into who they truly are as light, love, peace, joy and to call out that gold in them, in order to empower them to make the changes necessary to emerge from the darkness and into the light.
Rhonda Ferguson
Identity Theft Restorer! Teaching people who they truly are, and their purpose in life in order to free and empower them.