Bill and I have been married for 33 years and have been together for 39 years.
Maybe I’m a slow learner, but I’ve come to realize that marriage is all about helping each other recognize each other’s egos, so that we can transcend them.
Whenever my husband expresses to me that he doesn’t feel loved or supported, I notice my Egotistical Programmed Mind goes into action and starts throwing out thoughts of:
“Why do I have to…”
“I do everything!”
“If I don’t do this, then nothing changes!”
“I do ….what do you do?”
“I never do enough!”
If I agree with this narrative and let those phrases come out of my mouth, a fight will ensue and we will be in a battle of the egos.
What’s most important to note in theses situations, is that he’s pointing out an egotistical blind spot. If I hear him out, take it to heart and set an intention to make changes, we both win and our relationship is stronger for it.
If I take the ego easy route and fight for my rights, I loose myself in the ego and take on a false identity of a frustrated, bitter, angry and a closed minded person that’s not willing to change.
It’s imperative that we live in awareness of our thoughts, knowing that self focused “I” thoughts, are from the Egotistical Programmed Mind. When we can perceive the ego as a little kid, with it’s arms folded, a scowl on it’s face and screaming; “What about me,” We can tell the little ego to pipe down and then take control of the mind with a response of; “help me understand why you are feeling this!”
Taking control of the little ego, is taking to heart what our partner is saying, which will make them feel loved and respected along with creating a safe place for them to share their feelings without fear of rejection.
It’s also an incredible opportunity to see our blockages and barriers that our little ego has put up, in order to block us from being love. When we are not being love, we are not being our True Self and we will suffer consequences of shame, guilt and regret.
When we remove the excuses, comparisons and judgments, love flows abundantly through us and we have come into alignment with what we Truly are as a Spiritual being of light/love and one with the Divine.
Gypsy Spirit (aka Rhonda Ferguson)
