An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain! Proverbs 31:9-11
Why wouldn’t my husband’s heart fully trust me? I keep the house clean, run errands, raise the kids and give him sex often?
As much as we may not like it, we were created to be their helpers! We should have started our marriages with hearts fully surrendered and in love with our husbands. Some of us did, but we also entered the marriage with a list of expectations of our husband providing, protecting, leading and loving us in order for us to be happy! The problem is that when they did not meet our expectations in any of these areas, fear sets in and we slowly begin to take over, and each step we make to fill in the gap, also fills in a wall around our heart.
After years of marriage we wonder why our husband doesn’t love us and why we are no longer in love with them? Even if they tried to love us, that love can no longer penetrate the wall. So how do we know if we have a wall or if we’ve lost our husband’s heart?
When our minds are constantly flooded with negative thoughts about our husband and if we never really open up and share our heart, it’s a good sign we’ve built a wall. When they never seem to do the things we desire or ask of them, which in turn causes us to be a constant nag, you can be sure, they feel in their spirit that we have a hidden motive and/or agenda and their hearts don’t fully trust us!
How do we tear down this wall and win their hearts? It requires us to be humble, vulnerable and transparent! Another wards, it will require us to tear down that wall, one brick at a time, until it crashes and we are able to fully give them our hearts. Then they will feel in their spirit that our motives are of pure love!
My wall started cracking the summer of 2017, when I started to really study the Bible and know how to live for Jesus. As I would read and meditate on scripture, trying to understand how it applies to me in 2017, the Lord told me to “have a Tabernacle Experience with him every day!” Letting Holy Spirit show me the pride in my heart, worshipping, praying and receiving guidance/thoughts on how to live for God.
There were many days, I realized how I sinned, or hurt my husband and I had to go make it right. Every time I went to him, humbled myself and apologized, I cracked my wall and removed another brick. Six months later, while on a mini vacation in Idyllwild, CA, I saw husband totally different. As he shared his heart with me, about all the years of pain I’d caused him, for the first time, I listened to understand, learn and sympathize. My heart broke for him and so did my wall.
I’m incredibly humbled at the thought of having a wall up for about 30 years, never really realizing it and all the pain it caused and how it impacted my family. And yet, in 6 months, my life has been completely transformed. I’m madly in love with my husband, naturally respecting, loving, encouraging and helping him any and every way I can.
All my life I’ve tried to find my significance in raising kids, working, ministry or my appearance. I now realize there is no greater significance, than loving your husband with such a pure heart, that his confidence is off the charts and he believes he can do anything with me by his side, believing in him.
My husband started his own plumbing company a few months ago. We both know that he would never have even attempted it without my pure love, confidence, trust and respect for him! The Lord recently told me, “Now your husband will succeed!” I use to think that just being a house wife was demeaning. Now I know it’s the most important job in the world. Because I’m not just a house wife, I’m making the world a better place because, I have a man who walks with confidence, purity of heart and is unifying the world, because his wife is in love with him.
Rhonda Ferguson
www.RFWellness.net