In honor of Pride month, I thought I’d share a little bit of my journey of my son coming out as gay, in hopes of helping others understand why they are suffering with the coming out of their LGBTQIA+ child!
Raising my son in a very strict Christian home, it was our worst nightmare for him to come out as gay. This torment came from the belief that we would be rejected by friends and family. The egotistical mind is very consumed with what others will think, because it derives it’s specialness from others.
When he came out to me over the phone 4 years ago, I had just spent the weekend with him in which he gave me a plethora of hints, that I worked at ignoring. After going home and processing the weekend and what I knew he was trying to tell me, I went into desperation, begging God to change him and this situation. After his coming out to me, I went into a deep depression and had to hide it from all of humanity, because he wanted to come out to the world on his own terms and when he was ready.
In my depression I laid down on my bed and went into a vision of my son and I in a huge cage or jail cell. The jail cell was beautifully decorated with pictures of nature scenes on the walls, a plush rug on the floor and a bed lavished with an expensive comforter. You could tell I’d dwelt in that cell for a long time. The cell was the knowing that my son is gay and born that way, but utter denial, because of fear of rejection.
As we stood in the center of the cell, all those that had told my husband and I though out his life that he’s gay, were surrounding the cell and yelling “he’s gay, he’s gay, he’s gay!” My son stepped towards the door, and then turned around and with a look of love and confidence, he stretched out his hand to me and said “come on mom!” I knew in that moment, to go with him would require a tremendous amount of humility, having to admit that the people were right and set out on a path, that I had no idea what it looked like.
I took his hand and we stepped onto this yellow brick road, just like in the movie Wizard of Oz. Up ahead was a celestial city, as we headed towards the city, pieces of us fell off, which later I realized it was our egotistical false identities and a brilliant light (our True Selves) shined through.
After that experience, I came into full acceptance of him being gay and then I got busy meeting with each of my closest friends and telling them, “my son is gay.” The response was supportive and loving. Then I told the extended family and I was met over and over with “I know, I’ve known for years!”
The egotistical mind had created this fearful movie that never happened. As a result, I was able to shed that part of my ego and develop a beautiful, loving, accepting relationship with my son.
If you are currently in this situation, focus on loving, accepting, supporting and affirming your child, trusting God to work it out. You can’t imagine the freedom that is yours, when you let go of worrying about what people!
Gypsy Spirit (aka:Rhonda Ferguson)
Guiding people out of the darkness of their egotistical mind and into the light of what they truly are as a Spiritual Being of light/love.
