Sitting in a coffee shop on a rainy afternoon here in a normally sunny California, I was working on my laptop, sending recap emails to my clients about their sessions, along with working on my blog and book.
I heard a group of happy ladies enter the coffee shop and were excitedly talking to each other and the familiar patrons they recognized. I glanced up to see if I knew any of them, and there she was; a previous pastor/friend of mine. At that moment my heart sank a little bit, as I wondered what she might say to me. Of course she didn’t say anything to me when she left, it was just my fearful ego at work, but the experience was a reminder of what I left behind and to be honest, sometimes I miss.
5 years ago I walked out of the Christian Church that she and her husband pastor. I didn’t just leave a church that I occasionally attended. Being a leader in the church, it felt like I was leaving my family, the comfort, security, and surety of being loved, wanted, needed, and a successful business owner, in order to pursue my True Identity in Christ.
I’ve always had the burning desire to teach people what they Truly are, just as Christ did. But the difference between the religion I was deconstructing from and the spirituality that I was awakening to is that;
Religion teaches us we are sinful, and we need forgiveness and salvation or we will burn in a place called hell.
Spirituality is experiencing the teaching of Jesus that; we are sinless beings and to look beyond a body and see that what we Truly are; as one with the Divine.
That’s why He said things like; “You are gods!” “Be perfect as I am perfect!” “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the father!” “You’ll do greater things than I did!” and “Pursue peace with all men, without which they will not see God!”
To be allowed to teach our Identity in Christ, I had to work hard to show my dedication and faithfulness to the church, but I knew it would never be enough, because the identity of oneness with God, did not align with the identity taught of separation that Christianity teaches. To stay an active member/leader of the church, demanded a price I was no longer willing to pay and that was my peace.
These 5 years have the most transformative of my life! As I stopped seeking guidance from people and instead looked within to find the Divine Guidance. This guidance that took me on a journey of dismantling my Egotistical Programmed Mind and discover what I Truly am as a Divine Being. As a result, my mind-body-spirit and relationships were healed.
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do is to let go of the identification as a Christian and embrace my faith and trust in the Divine. There was one year during this journey, that I was awakened at 2:22am most mornings, to have deep conversations with the Divine and to do Spiritual Heart Surgery. On one particular morning, as I entered my Prayer/Zen room, in front of a picture I have of Jesus, were what I call energy particles in the form of a person. I knew it was Christ and just fell to my knees, in shock and relief, tears flowing down my face, knowing I’m not alone on this journey. All I could say over and over was; “It’s you-your here, it’s you- your here!” I have no idea how long this went on, in reality probably a few minutes, but it felt like an hour.
I desperately needed that visitation at that particular time because I felt tormented as I was going through the deconstruction process and letting go of all that I’d been taught about Christianity and the Bible, for over 30 years.
As a result of being dedicated to the healing the mind, deconstruction and reconstruction, those mornings created a transformative relationship with The Divine (Trinity). Jesus says in A Course In Miracles “The body is not the temple of the Holy Spirit, relationship is.” Therefore my relationship with The Divine is the most important thing to me.
Now 7 years since starting this awakening journey, I still get up every morning and spend a couple hours with the Divine, receiving guidance and wisdom to share with the world. But it no longer stops there. I’m very intentional to try and only do what is in alignment with the peace that I am. Meaning; that I’m constantly aware of the Inner Guidance and the ego’s guidance.
The ego’s guidance will lead us to stress, anxiety, doubt, worry, fear, shame, regret and guilt.
The Divine’s Guidance will lead us to peace, joy and happiness and that is our True Identity.
To say “I’m guarding my peace!” Is to say; “I’m guarding my identity in Christ!”
I would say the greatest thing about the awakening journey, is that to know we are spiritual beings – the peace of God, we can completely accept everyone and their unique journey! It absolutely does away with judgement!
That is the peace that passes understanding!
Gypsy Spirit
Guiding people out of the darkness of their mind and into the light of what they Truly are in Christ.