It’s embarrassing to admit, but after living in our home for 21 years we are finally turning our unfinished backyard of dirt, into a beautiful oasis. Yep we were that family that lived pay check to pay check, up until 4 years ago, when my husband went into business for himself as a plumber.
Yesterday, (May 19,2022) as I found myself sitting at our dining room table with my husband and our backyard designer (who attends the Calvinist Church we use to attend 16 years ago,) discussing our landscaping. She asked me what I did for a living, it was in that moment that I realized the incredible journey I took through religion!
I told her that the church she is attending, taught me Biblical counseling, then after attending there for 5 years, I went to a Charismatic church and became a “Christian Counselor,” and now I’m a Spiritual Guide; guiding people out of the darkness of their egotistical mind and into the light of what they truly are.
In order for us to be able to deconstruct, progress, awaken, and become enlightened, we have to be willing to give up the attachment to the roles we are playing. I got stuck many times in different egotistical roles I played in churches, because those roles made me feel: loved-wanted-needed-special. But when I was willing to give up the roles, the teachers or guides appeared in the form of a: book, video, podcast, movie, song, person and mostly Devine guidance, wisdom, revelations and deep understanding.
During my religious journey, I learned each Christian camp had 4 basic criteria in order for a person to feel loved-wanted-needed-accepted:
Baptists:
Calvinsits:
Chrismatics:
When we take on our roles in these camps, we get addicted to the feelings of being, loved-wanted-needed-special and accepted, therefore we tend to stay stuck, in that church and role.
I know the thing that saved me from not progressing or awakening, was my relationship with Christ. Asking Jesus to come into my heart and save me at 16 years old, didn’t deliver me from an egotistical hell in my heart and mind. It was when I was separated from my husband in 2000 and was suicidal, that I cried out to God for help and guidance. Then willing to let go of my ego and do what I was told to do, “Go back to my husband,” this is what delivered from my hell.
All throughout my church journey, I enjoyed the acceptance, love, attention, etc. but my true peace and joy was in my relationship with Christ, that was cultivated every morning in my “secret place.” This is a place I do the inner healing/heart surgery, pray/meditate, journal, cry, learn, and receive guidance.
This relationship created a deep trust and faith, that when it was time to leave a church, let go of a job or friendship, unconditionally love my gay son, or stop reading the Bible and follow Holy Spirit’s guidance, I could do it without fear, knowing God’s got me.
Rhonda has been judged, lost virtual and real friends, in which I don’t mind at all. These people are just playing their roles. Some are ready and willing to let go of their roles and know their oneness with Christ as a spiritual being, others are not and that’s ok, it’s their journey. I’m simply here to love all and guide those who are ready and willing, to let go of their roles that the egotistical mind has created.
If this is where you are at, I would say first and foremost create a “secret place,” and begin doing the inner healing on the things that are bothering you, asking Holy Spirit’s guidance. Second live in awareness of your egotistical thoughts, basically anything that throws you out of peace. Third get honest with yourself, are you really going to church to be love/light or do you also go because it makes you feel special?
Gypsy Spirit (aka: Rhonda Ferguson)
Guiding people out of the darkness of their egotistical mind and into the light of what they truly are.
RFWellness90@aol.com
