Leaving the Christian church almost 4 years ago, I left with the intention to have an open heart and mind, along with being love rather than being right. What this did was open me up to some incredible revelations, supernatural and psychedelic experiences, along with having a deep knowing, that we truly are 3 in 1 beings made up of mind-body-spirit!
Humans go through a conditioning and construction of a belief system and world views, created by a vast array of influences such as: parents, teachers, peers, religion, social media, entertainment, co-workers, etc. As we grow older, we utilize these beliefs systems in search of happiness. When we fail to find peace and happiness in our belief systems, we naturally begin to question what we’ve been taught to believe. This process has been termed as Deconstruction. Which is by definition; the challenging of world views and subsequent beliefs.
For myself, the deconstruction process lasted for the duration of about 5 years. Books such as: A Course In Miracles, A Course of Love, along with the Teachers of God organization, and Eckhart Tolle’s teachings, were the catalyst for my transformation and awakening.
Although my transformation couldn’t have happened without those teachings, I also used plant medicine in my awakening journey!
Therefore, what I really want to do in this blog, is to be totally transparent and share the greatest tool I used in my awakening, and that was T.H.C. After consuming an edible and having a really bad T.H.C. trip years ago in Oregon, (due to the fact that I was also drinking alcohol.) I decided instead to just smoke it. The results were life transforming. During this 2nd trip about 6 months ago, I kept going in and out of 3 characters: Rhonda (the human character) Bambi (what I call my ego) and Gypsy (my true spiritual self.). Although I had realized many years ago, that we are a 3 dimensional beings (mind-body-spirit), now I was actually experiencing them. Rhonda is a serious, book nerd, guide/therapist, wife, mother, grandmother. Bambi to be quite frank is a bitch, but she is also bold, adventurous and courageous! Gypsy as I said, is my true self, which is very fun, loving, creative and light hearted. This trip was the beginning of helping me to really be able to distinguish between the characters I play on a daily basis, however I mistakingly set out on a mission to dismantle Ego/Bambi or some have called it “ego death.”
The problem with trying to dismantle the ego, is it’s really an egotistical thing to do, because it’s driven by the desire to be perfect! Even though I kept trying to believe Ego/Bambi had faded into the past, every once in awhile when Rhonda felt threaten, Ego/Bambi would reappear. Therefore, I had a intuitive knowing, that another trip would be needed in order to go deeper and receive the truth about “ego death!”
This takes us to where I’m at now. It’s been 6 months since the 3 in 1 trip, so I decided to try a T.H.C. edible again, this time however without the alcohol, just to see if I could have another mystical experience and perhaps go even deeper. This is exactly what happened, but I’ll warn you, it is even crazier than the 3 in 1 trip!
This time I kept going in and out of 6 different experiences about every 30 seconds:
Experience #1 I was with 3 little aliens and we were watching Rhonda and her husband interact, they were absolutely amazed at how he intuitively took care of her. The experience was of my true self with the aliens, while I was also playing the character of Rhonda. I called this the soap opera, because Rhonda and her husband’s lives seemed fake or an like an illusion.
Experience #2 I was giggle girl and would just start laughing for no apparent reason.
Experience #3 I would start crying because I felt like a disappointment to my husband.
Experience #4 I would be fully Bambi bitch, standoffish and rude to Rhonda’s husband.
Experience #5 I had a past life experience of being a Hippi Chick at Woodstock, where I lived out of a van with my boyfriend and on the side of the van we had a big crochet wall hanging used for privacy. What’s crazy, is that it’s exactly like the one currently hanging on my bedroom wall. This experience was terrorizing because I had the experience of her also being murdered.
Experience #6 I would come back to my right mind or current mind and be able to instruct my husband to take notes etc.
The next days and weeks, I began to dissect each experience and it’s secret message.
Alien/soap opera experience, confirmed we basically do live in a Matrix or dream and I felt compelled to start reading the book; The Raw Material – Law of One. I realized that each personality: Rhonda and Bambi, represent the mind/body, and there are two sides to each of them: yin/yang, good/bad, dark/light etc. I am to utilize the good/light side and live in awareness of the bad/dark side and while also keeping it in check. The Law of One says: That enlightenment happens with the “acceptance and merging of self, with self and other self and finally with Creator!” This was truly amazing to me and confirmed that, although I see the 3 personalities as separate, the egoless side of them, is one with the Creator which is light/love/energy.
Feeling like a disappointment showed me, I had fear of being a disappointment in my sub-conscious mind and it needed healing, which in turn caused me to do some inner healing or what I call “heart surgery!”
Hippi Chick – past life, just helped me to understand why I do what I do, why I feel most comfortable in bohemian style clothing, why I love 60’s/70’s music, why I needed to get a tattoo and ultimately how to be my true authentic self.
I’m beginning to love Bambi and Rhonda and to utilize their strengths and understand their weaknesses. Maybe the next T.H.C. we will experience the emersion as one into Christ Consciousness. After all that is what life is all about, awakening to what we are and it starts with an open heart and mind.
I encourage you dear reader, to take the first baby step in awakening and simply pay attention to the conversations in your mind and you will also realize you are 3 in 1!
Rhonda Ferguson
Guiding people out of the darkness of their mind and into the light of who they truly are!
