I spent many years putting the responsibility on my husband to make me happy.
I had in my mind a picture of my happy life and I believed that in order to have that Utopia, I would need him to change, otherwise I would be miserable and unhappy for the rest of my life! All my hopes and dreams were rooted in my husband changing so I could be happy!
When he refused or simply could not change to meet my expectations, I would first off beg God to change him, second I would either try to manipulate him to change or whine, beg and plead.
One day while out on my morning walk, I realized that it’s not his responsibility to make me happy, my happiness is my own responsibility and second, the biggest epiphany was that he can stay just how he is and I can still be happy.
I embraced that fact that what he does or doesn’t do, does not determine my happiness! All my joy, peace and happiness are found in Jesus! On that day, my husband and I were set free from my unrealistic expectations and I was free to love him, just as he is!
My heart and desire for him to change was now out of love for him rather than for myself.
