Having raised my son in a very religious home, expecting him to become a pastor and happily sending him off to ministry school, I believed sub-consciously to have sealed the deal that he wasn’t gay. He would have a “normal life,” marry his female best friend and give me a biological grandchild.
Do you see all the “me,” “I,” “Self-focused,” “Egotistical,” phrases? When he came out as gay a few years ago, I laid down on my bed in anguish and received a vision of my son and I in a cage, the size of a small bedroom. The door was open and it was surrounded with people who told me all his life he is gay. They were yelling at us, telling us like they always did, that he is gay. Then all of a sudden my son stepped towards the door, turned around reached out his hand to me, and said, “come on mom,” wanting to lead me out of the cage! I knew in that moment if I left, I would have to admit I was wrong! I would have to shed my image of a “perfect Christian woman” with a “perfect life!” I would have to literally shed my image I had worked so hard to create.
Thoughts of fear of rejection flooded my mind, “what would people think?” I knew my son was leaving, if I chose to stay and maintain my image, I would lose my relationship with him. If I chose to go, I would step into the unknown.
I placed my hand in his and we left the cage. The first thing I noticed was the silence. Our accusers stopped accusing. After all there was nothing to prove any more. They were right, I was wrong, now to eat that humble pie and along with it, I received a peace that passes all understanding. As my son and I headed down that yellow brick road, pieces of us, our false identities, began to fall off. What we are, as light and love began to shine through. I saw way ahead of us, a huge celestial city. I knew the road would be long and hard, but in the end we would come to rest in the bosom of Christ. Completely shedding our false selves is exactly what is needed to remove the blockages of what we truly are and to realize the Kingdom of Heaven was within us all along.
We are the image makers, we are the dreamers of the dream. We spend our entire life creating, promoting, fueling, defending a human image. We are taught that having a “special image” brings, peace, joy and happiness. But in truth, the making of that image and maintaining it, is truly hell.
What does this hell look like? It looks believing we are separate from Christ, that we are this weak, helpless, vulnerable human, therefore we spend all our time, energy, and money into whatever things that we believe will prove we are “special” and “good enough!” Such things are; Social Media, Careers, Education, Religion, Family, Friends, Nationality, Politics, Sports, Clothes, Make-up, Music, Economic Status etc.
At first it seems impossible to participate in these things and not “identify as them.” I’m here to tell you it simply starts by embracing the truth that you are seated in heavenly places. You are a spiritual being and one with Christ. We just have to remove the blockages to love that you are.
Don’t allow yourself to get pulled into things that will replace your peace in God, with something you are pressured to say or do in order to maintain “specialness!” This will require letting go of “people pleasing” and beginning to be true to yourself, being bold, coureageous, fully following Holy Spirit’s lead, sometimes, saying and doing things that make absolutely no sense to the world.
Finally the last thing we will have to release is the “fear of rejection!” This is only done, by being transparent and experiencing rejection in order to come out the other side of it, unscathed and totally at peace. Now you will be able to motivate and inspire the world with your truth.
Rhonda Ferguson
Identity Theft Restorer, Teaching People Who They Are, and Their Purpose In This Life, In Order To Free and Empower Them!